Welcome 2010 :)

2009 is finally over :). wait, wait..Am I sad about it? Partly yes, partly no.

2009 carried all sorts of events for me. There were sweet memories, tough lessons, "what not" kind of experiences.. :) It had surprises and shocks that made me think in-depth abt everything, realize the world within me, around me and ofcourse, it never ends :)

Thanks a ton for everyone who has been with me and supporting me during happy and sad moments. :) Memorable year for me.. And its time to Move on....

Welcome 2010. :)

Happy New year to all of you. May this new year bring all sorts of happiness and successes for everyone :)

3 idiots

All Izz well :)

Jeene Do...

3 friends hugging each other and bidding adieu for vacation..
Small kid , being carried by her mom, looking at people around,signal,horse cart,all vehicles with amazement..
An elderly couple, smiling and walking out of home with shoes on for an evening pleasant walk...
Few boys shouting at their friend for a misfield in the ground...
A girl running to catch her balloon being carried away by the wind...

How did I miss all these kinda things everyday :)

yeah...everyone were enjoying their moment :) And me walking with music on...

And the lines explained everything... :)

Give me some sunshine...
Give me some rain..
Give me another chance..I wanna grow up again..

Jeene do :) Jeene do :)

Me and You

who are u?what should I name u as?I see u wherevr i turn around.you are within me too.earlier, you were not with me all the time.you were visiting me at times and I managed to push u out. you were hesitant to embrace me wen I wanted. Now, what happened all of a sudden? What s so impressive that is holding u with me for a long time? Or is it the other way? May be the blame should be on me? I had wanted this way?But I was not expecting u to dominate me. I cannot let that happen. Do u hope to acquire full control of me? No way..I am not letting u to be with me anymore. I dont need u now.May be that I dont know wat would be ideal for me. But you are not the solution for sure. Get lost....

மிருகங்கள்

http://www.ted.com/talks/sunitha_krishnan_tedindia.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_youngest_birth_mothers

http://ibnlive.in.com/news/31monthold-girl-child-allegedly-raped-in-mumbai/106754-3.html



ஏனோ நேற்று நான் படித்த, பார்த்த தொகுப்புகள் அனைத்தும், மனதை நெருடுவதாகவே இருந்தன. நாம் இப்படிப்பட்ட வெறியர்களிநூடே தான் வாழ்கிறோமா? பூக்களை ஒத்த குழந்தைகளை , ஏதும் அறியாத வயதில், இவ்வாறு செய்யும், செய்ய முற்படும் வீணர்கள் இன்னும் இவ்வுலகில் நடமாடிக் கொண்டு தான் இருக்கிறார்கள் என நினைக்கும் போது பதைபதைக்கிறது. அவர்களுக்கான தண்டனை யாரால் எப்போது கொடுக்கப்படும்?

வறுமையின் காரணமாய்க் குழந்தைகளை விற்கும் காலமும் தான் மாறுவதென்று?பாதிக்கப்பட்டவர்களை நம்மில் ஒருவராய் பார்க்கும் நேரமும் தான் விரைவில் வந்திடாதோ?

My First Mickey :)

My new hobby - pencil sketching or drawing. :) whatever...I name it the way I want it to be... :)

And today, Mickey's turn :)

Hurray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I liked it :) :) :) :) It wasnt as bad as I thought it would turn out to be :)

Stay away :)

I have no clue on wat to write about. But I am sure that I want to write. There can be no title for this blog as I am not sure on how this post will turn out to be. But my blog has become my close frnd. A friend when my days are not normal. So, my day was not normal today? I dont know. I am neither happy. Nor sad.

Should I describe about how close my blog has been to me? There are many days when I just login to start a new post, scribble at the max and finally end up deleting the post without publishing. But when I delete it, there will be some change in me. That I was out of everything and I LIVE my life and not just exist.

Today is also one such day? At this point of time, I dunno if this is going to be published. But I still want to move on. My 1 week vacation and rest in chennai has created wonders in me. Nothing is affecting me and my mood these days.Its too early to decide on the impact of vacation as only 3 days are over after the vacation... But still, I feel some peace in me..

I am confident that I will not push anything deep into my heart. It often intends us to think much..There is no point in thinking deep about anything or anyone, as the final sufferer would be the thinker. Most of the times, the questions that arise out of such things never arrive at an answer but complicate things..

I am happy that I am out of it. I have started saying many things to myself . what are they?
1.Whatever has to happen will happen. But the impact that it can have is purely under my control. How bad or good I try to react for it, nothing will change but me. Time can work miracles in life, but the way we accept it will be the master of the story.
2. No one except me can control the decisions that I take in life. The decision would completely be based on the PRIORITIES that I have.
3. TRUST - yeah. I can trust anyone or anything. But its not in my hands if it can continue forever. I can have trust but shouldnt affect me if it fails.
4. There is no point in raising questions for everything. Most of the times, an answer triggers another question and reaches a deadlock, pulling me into it. Be careful on what can be questioned , what needs to be altered, what should be accepted.
5. We are not alone any time. But we need to learn to be alone, as we never realize the fact that we are not alone.
6. Try to make fun out of everything that can affect our heart and mind. It will not affect ultimately. :)
7. Action is better than thinking.
8. And all of the above can change anytime. After all, all my thoughts reflect the situation I am in. I can alter it myself completely to make me feel good anywhere anytime.

I am done with my scribblings. :)

And finally, I found a title for my post :) So publishing it... :)

Loneliness...

Everyday, when I leave office, I would decide that there should be a post from me but that day would complete with me just logging in to the blogger and nothing more... But today, i felt I have a topic that is feel-good kind and worth-blogging.

Well...everyone around me knows where i spend most of my time in office. Ofcourse at my desk. Correct it if u had assumed any other answer. And I do go to cafeteria at times. :P

Yesterday evening, we noticed our juice junction bhaiya entering the cafe from the terrace with a pigeon on his shoulder. It was so comfortable with him as if he was a friend for years. It was a great sight to watch. We were confused as to why he was taking the pigeon inside the area where the plates for the food are being washed. But then, we had some other important discussion going on and lost concentration on this.

Today evening, when we were in cafe, we got remembered about the pigeon and asked bhaiya abt it. He asked us to come to the same place where he took the pigeon to. We were wondering if they had a cage inside for the pigeon. He came out holding the pigeon with care and placed carefully on a slab. It was trying to poke everyone who showed their fingers. It was looking very cute and seemed happy. But we were a little surprised as to how the pigeon got attached to him and didnt try to fly away. And then, bhaiya took the pigeon close to him and cleared the wings to one side. We then noticed that the pigeon was hurt inside and it had no power to fly.

It did worry us. Though the pigeon had lost its power to fly,missed its friends and relatives,also left alone it was in a safe place and well-taken care of..

I was not sure of when the pigeon would gain the strength to fly or if it would really be able to fly in future. But there was some person to help when it was in pain. Though the pigeon is not aware of the kind of living being who saved it, it seemed to have trust on an unknown. Bhaiya then took the pigeon inside and put it inside a box which had proper ventilation.

At times, we do feel alone and whole world would seem to be away from us when we are sad. Most of us dont realize that there is actually someone or the other to be with us. After all, no one is alone in this world :). Its just that we fail to realize the fact.

And now, I remember the lines from this song:
இந்த வீணைக்குத் தெரியாது

எங்கோ அழுத கண்ணீர் துடைக்க
எங்கோ ஒரு விரல் இருக்கிறது..
உதிரப்போகும் பூவும் கூட
உயிர் வாழ்ந்திட தான் துடிக்கிறது...

At present...

Water Water everywhere
Not even a sip to drink!!!!

Unlucky Luck

Almost everyone in this universe should have experienced it. If something goes wrong first on a day, that day will never seem to get any better till we go to sleep. And most likely that even a less messed up event might take a huge image on the mind and feels that whole world has turned against us.

It was more frequent in college days. I would rush to the bus stop to find that my window seat in the usual Govt bus to college,being occupied by someone else and left with no choice than to stand looking for a seat getting empty.
[Well, what could be so special about a window seat!!! Daily bus commuters in Chennai should understand it better. Bus travel is worth a separate blog.(oh my god. nth post added to the "Wish to blog" list when the current post is just moved out of the list from n-(n-1)th position)]

Yeah, back to those days, the unlucky luck would join me in the same bus to help me make it the most unlucky day and leave me safely back at home in the evening,assuring me that the next visit would be very soon.

Similar to one of those college days happened to me last week. But it gives immense pleasure to realize that the effect on me was not the same. It was just any other day , in fact, more joyous than a usual day giving more valid reasons to laugh about. yeah, I am getting matured and life is beautiful :P

Where did it all begin?

One fine day, I woke up at 5.45 AM with a dangerous decision of preparing lunch for me and my friend. A rough plan in my mind seemed to be fine. I had to prepare some sabji and rotis for my friend atleast, before she leaves for work.

As always, there was something terribly missing in the so called tomato-onion sabji.

I consoled myself that messing up a dish was more than usual for me. Luckily, roti that I prepared for my friend qualified to be a roti.

With a happy note that the day had strted fine, i left for morning walk. I hate drinking milk. But I was destined to like milk that day. So, I was back home with a milk packet.

I poured it into the milk vessel and kept it on stove. I moved to hall and started rolling the rotis for my lunch. yeah, i completely forgot that there was milk boiling more than it had to.
After realizing the smell of over boiled milk, I hurried into the kitchen with rolled rotis in one hand. I placed the rotis near the gas and started clearing off the milk. In the process, I spilled water all over rotis. No wonder that rotis that I made that time turned out to be .................................................................
bricks.

Never mind. I had to eat it. Let me not share it with anyone. My teeth is strong for this. But with a little worry about lunch and hope of making atleast breakfast to be worth eating, I kept bread on the same pan that I used for chapathi. Ah, someone called me on my mobile then. I rushed to my room and completely forgot the bread. When I remember the bread again, as expected, the colour was dark. Completely black. No way of eating it.

And I managed to get 2 slices. Kitchen was a complete mess by then. I thought of cleaning it before leaving for office. But only then, the motor creates a problem and no water left. As it was already late, I took bath with the little water that my friend had kept and left home.

Auto drivers never knew that I had screwed up everything that I did since morning. So they took the great responsibility of making it even worser, by asking 50Rs for a 2km ride. This resulted in a most entertaining fight between us.

I took another auto and reached office and took lift to the 7th floor. Yeah, I was telling myself that it was all over and I cannot spoil anything again that day. What is it? Elevator had long back crossed my floor and I was in 9th floor. Before anyone could see, I got out of it and rushed to my seat, laughing at the fact that it was just a beginning and the unlucky luck was already well settled and comfortable with me.

My "unlucky luck" has warned me not to post all the surprises it gave me, lest it would come back to me.

......

தற்போதைய பிடித்த வரிகள் - ஆயிரத்தில் ஒருவன் படத்திலிருந்து

சிரிப்பதும் அழுவதும் உன் வேலை
நடப்பவை நடக்கட்டும் அவன் லீலை

Confusions continued..

This is going to be Confused-part 2. So ppl, who were not happy with part1 can stay away from this post.

There can be ppl who think that I am confused all the time and hence all the previous posts. But its always true that something that is sensible to me may not be for others. I am surprised as I was not the same before and was always feared of my thoughts being rejected. But now, I know I am liking blogging very much these days and the first rule in it is being open to all sorts of comments. I have realized it after 2 yrs of my blog-life. :P

Ok..now, what am I confused abt? To be precise,rite now, i am confused abt wat I am confused.
I have read it somewhere that human thoughts travel faster than light. very true. The thoughts that prevailed in my confused mind ,when I started with the first sentence, had travelled so far that I have no clue on where it is now.

i dont know why i m blogging now. I am just enjoying it. Nah, this doesnt seem to qualify as a convincing answer. May be that, there is no one around to listen to my thoughts. Or I chose a wider audience for my thoughts to be shared.

Atleast here, I need to justify the heading for this post . And to add on, let me make myself clear here that there will be no direct,simple but never answerable questions in this post.

As in everyone's life, there is good as well as bad in my life. Its my assumption right now that Life has both good to rejoice and evil to crib about.*(subject to change in seconds).

I can concentrate on Good and I will be all happy. But I will not be sure, if I was completely happy or convinced myself that I can fool myself to be so. I can feel simple pleasures on going for walk or fun with kids or just sitting alone,staring at the sky. I would call many people, good old friends and i would feel happy.Ah... Life is so simple... its all about happiness and how mad on my part it was to waste time on stupid, unimportant issues.

But this wouldnt continue for long. I would soon get into the other side of the life. everything around me would seem to be against me. Millions of questions flash thru my mind. Millions has to be an under-estimation for sure. I would try hard not to let my thoughts into the dark side. I would hardly succeed in it. I was able to succeed a couple of times. But that would lead to another thought that it was not supposed to be the way I had to live.And ultimately, the result would be the same though it gets postponed in showing it out.

Well..the confusion here is about what is Life.
Is it all abt happiness? Or is it completely sad? Or, is it a mixture of both?

If its all about happiness, why am i sad at times? If its all sad, why am I happy at times? So, these 2 possibilities are ruled out completely abt life.

If its both in life, why is there no complete happiness or complete sadness at single point of time? Ok..Its my responsibility to define complete happiness and complete sadness. how do I explain it,without experiencing it? Skip it. :P

what am I trying to say. Lets assume both co-exist. Happiness and sadness. Its just that one dominates the other at any point of time. And its my mind that can choose which has to. But my mind is always partial and it tries to suppress the sadness.In that process, mind never know that its letting the sadness to succeed. So I become sad ultimately.

Hold on. When I am happy, I never hesitate to be happy. Why is it that I am so partial to the emotions? I was happy and I was able to accept it. Its a kind of emotion. So is the sadness. I should accept it and why should I get rid of it.yeah, I am sad now for some reason. That reason has to be a valid one at least for me. And ofcourse, the degree of sadness is not going to be the same for everyone. why should I try hard to hide it and make myself happy. I am worried.why should I stop it from happening. Since there was something negative about anything and everything,I had thought abt it and it would be my fault to conclude that there is nothing abt it.

Moreover, whole of universe is all abt change. If I am going to be happy now, i will change and be sad in sometime. And if I am going to be sad now, i will turn out to be happy next moment. So is the cause of the happiness or sadness. that has to change.

ok..where did I start? where did I end? Nowhere. I am still at the same point. :) Dont ask me at which point. I can only question and not answer..

And ofcourse, people who were expecting me not to pose unanswerable questions should know that I failed on it very badly.

Good or Bad

Sometimes we land up in situation where, being good to one person may turn out to be bad for other. But its never avoidable. :) Does this mean I am good? Or does it mean I am bad?

Sixth Sense

I smile at her;
Cry over her;
Scold her;
Enjoy her;
Feel proud of her;
Admire her;
Hate her;
Love her;

yeah..She is the precious mysterious Sixth sense, man has got..

Why did I consider that Sixth sense as woman!! No specific reason. :)

But Why (wo)men has got sixth sense!!
I dont know!!- Let me avoid questions which can never have logical, convincing answers.

Day before yesterday, i was scolding her.
Yesterday, i was admiring her..
Now???

I dont know myself :) :(

Am I confused??

I want a state wherein I am

neither happy nor sad
neither smiling nor crying
neither casual nor angry
neither alone nor together
neither occupied by thoughts nor completely blank
neither active nor lazy
neither alive nor dead
neither traveling nor sitting idle
neither living for myself nor for others
.
.
.
.
.
.
neither with expectations nor without them

oops... how many expectations I have from a single life that I have!!! With all these thoughts or expectations or watever, how is it I am LIVING my life!!!
I had lost all my present moments thinking of wat I want from life..Isnt it???
Though, the truth is life has some mystery hidden in it each moment. be it simple or complex. And never gonna be the way I want it from deep within ME :) oh no... why should I want anything !!!

I should accept anything and everything without 2nd thoughts.. Just go ahead and live every moment.. (hehe..Expectation 1)

Wen is my confused mind gonna understand ths !!

May be soon (hahaha.. another expectation!!!)

Oh man.. Expectations goes on... Or may be I should look at the definition for Expectation.

(Source : Wikipedia)
In the case of uncertainty, expectation is what is considered the most likely to happen. An expectation, which is a belief that is centred on the future, may or may not be realistic. A less advantageous result gives rise to the emotion of disappointment. If something happens that is not at all expected it is a surprise. An expectation about the behavior or performance of another person, expressed to that person, may have the nature of a strong request, or an order.


Hmm..Is it like expectations can be from myself and not others...

Well... I am confused. :)

Be Right Back

After-effects of Newyork

Does God have a role in making human beings(whom I consider as God's greatest wonder) cruel? If not, when is the lesson taught for such people?

Lost cycle....

"Ma...i should think abt a new 2-wheeler. Should be a comfortable choice compared to bglore autos for a 2 km.." A girl in bglore said this to her mom. Answer as expected was a big Noooo. No other way but to postpone the idea.Later one day her brother had to leave to US. "Dei anna.. anyways u r moving out of India for a while. Why dont I take ur 2-wheeler till then to bglore?" .. "No way" was the instant reply..Poor gal.

Finally she was left with the choice of eco-friendly, cheaper,safer(??), healthier mode of transport - Cycle. One fine day, when her parents had come to bglore, she bought a new cycle. She atleast felt relieved that there wont be any more fights with bglore autowalas.

On the same day the cycle was purchased, her dad performed some pooja to it. Her cycle was decorated with garlands near the handle bar. Thinking that it will not hamper the ride, she chose not to take off that garland herself. All she knew about her cycle was, there would be a garland in front and it belongs to F1 series of Hero Cycle.She was not aware of the Font size of F1 in cycle. But when she bought the cycle, that was the first word that caught her eyes.

Finally, she had a self-managed mode of transport to office. It was not as easy as expected. She had to stare at 2-wheeler, auto guys who came on her way. Sometimes she thought if it was a bad option to come in cycle to office, just for the 2 slopes on the way to office. It was tiring and she was completely drenched with sweat before she could reach office. 5 days to office in cycle dropped to 3 days to office.

If there was a chance to skip the cycling to office, she felt relieved sometimes. But she made up her mind to go in cycle atleast 3 days a week.

One wednesday, she had gone to cycle in office. Evening, before she could start from office, it started raining. Friends around suggested her to leave the cycle in office. She thought it was not a bad idea after all. With the confidence that it would be safe, she left for the day. Same continued the next day. She didnt bother to ensure if the cycle was safe. Company had staff to take care of them. why should she??

It was friday. If she is not taking her cycle that day, it would stay in office for 2 days. Bglore weather in the evenings would always tempt her to go on a long cycle ride. she didnt want to miss it that weekend. Though she was tired, she gathered all her strength mentally and physically,to leave the office in cycle.

She happily left to the parking space. Many people do come to office in cycle. She said to herself "Look at that. Someone has a cycle with same colour as mine".

Happily thinking these, she started searching for hers. Oops. where is it? Someone had stolen it. There s no safety in office. What are security guards for? Its not even a month old. How will she say this in her house??? All thoughts flashed through her mind within seconds.

She called the security people and informed about the lost cycle.

They : When did u leave it here, Mam?
She: 2 days back
They : How will it look like?
She: Its Hero model. Maroon colour. I never ever dreamt of my cycle being lost while in office.
They: Wait madam. Why dont u call someone in house and confirm if the cycle is in house
She: Do u think I am such a fool to hav my cycle left in house and searching for it here in office? what s this response!! I would prefer talking to someone at higher level.

She was confused and confused the guards too. She was not in her senses.She would feel better if someone came for help. She made her colleague come to the parking space. "I never expected this to happen." - she was on the verge of crying.

Security guards again asked her "Madam. How will your cycle look like?"

She: How do I explain them!!!why do they ask the same question again and again!!!

Her colleague came to her rescue. He pointed out to the same cycle that she had seen few minutes before. "Something of this type right?" .

She replied "exactly.. something of this type"

Guards came near the cycle to take a look at it.

She came around the cycle once and finally started shouting .

"hey wait wait wait...1 min. I think this should be mine"

Others:????????????

She took out her cycle key and tried to unlock it. It did :)

Easy to imagine the reaction of everyone around.

Security head "Mam. Next time, if you plan to leave your cycle at office, please let me know so that I can help you in spotting your cycle"

Now,all security guards are her friends expecting her to come in cycle everyday. :P

Her friends teased her asking how on earth a gal will not know how her cycle looked like...

Her reply: Listen...Its not my mistake. I always identified it with the garland in the front. Someone had taken it off wen i had left it in office...

!!@@$$$$$$!!!!

wanna aprreciate her for this???

Search for that gal...And as u all know,its not me for sure....:P

Boon or Curse????

what is it expected out of a gal? wat a gal life is??? wat is she allowed to do? wat is she not allowed to do?? the latter list seems to be very big rite?? how s a gal different from boy? her physical abilities or disabilities(how do i call it??)..was it a boon or curse?? wat did the god have in his mind when he made the gal?? did he want a woman to be special and gave her extra capabilities?? taking much pain to bring a soul to this world is not easy rite? Is this truly appreciated? is the worth of it felt by all? then why is it that women are never allowed to be independent? Was God responsible for the way women was before or is now or will be!!! who knows?? Why are women alone expected to manage kids? what is a guy's role in this??? Why should a gal do all the cooking and household activites?? Is this a rule posed by God? Is God so cruel to do this? Doesnt it look like a practice that seemed to have originated millions of generations back? Was it a result of a fear that men had seeing women capabilities. Did they try to supress the women? Or women themselves chose this way of living. Are women so fools to choose a dependent life?Is this not a practice that was made a tradition, culture or watever it is...when is it the whole of society gonna understand this?? Managing house cannot be a great task. But isnt it true that there are many dreams of women buried in this...Did anyone care to know what the dream of a women in their house is like? Did anyone feel that women have their own wishes? Did anyone let her live the life the way she wanted to be?? Who cares??? Even the gal doesnt. All she can do is to crib abt it. Who s the reason for the way the society is? Too many unanswered and never ending questions!!!!Where is the conclusion for it?? Who should make it conclude? Women should take the initiative? Did she? Not all women. Why is it so? Are they not interested in change? are they restricted from change? wat can restrict them? Every women has an answer for it and it would be different and ofcourse, a valid point from her side:) But not a normal person can understand it. Change has started approaching and its not too far... :) My grandmother made sure that her girl should have a better life than hers. My mother made sure that i enjoy my life better than her. And i would do the same for my gal. The change is one generation after the other. :) It has to be slow and steady

Women, who need to be proud of being a WOMAN was made to feel for it. God wanted to make woman a more respectable being by giving her more capabilities. She was made delicate. But then, God forgot that men have sixth sense. They misutilized gal's power and went too far in misutilizing it that people never thought it to be one. Women need not feel bad for it. Be proud of being a woman. Its a boon :)


PS: These were the random thoughts in my mind and TRIED to give a shape to it for getting it posted here