Confusions continued..

This is going to be Confused-part 2. So ppl, who were not happy with part1 can stay away from this post.

There can be ppl who think that I am confused all the time and hence all the previous posts. But its always true that something that is sensible to me may not be for others. I am surprised as I was not the same before and was always feared of my thoughts being rejected. But now, I know I am liking blogging very much these days and the first rule in it is being open to all sorts of comments. I have realized it after 2 yrs of my blog-life. :P

Ok..now, what am I confused abt? To be precise,rite now, i am confused abt wat I am confused.
I have read it somewhere that human thoughts travel faster than light. very true. The thoughts that prevailed in my confused mind ,when I started with the first sentence, had travelled so far that I have no clue on where it is now.

i dont know why i m blogging now. I am just enjoying it. Nah, this doesnt seem to qualify as a convincing answer. May be that, there is no one around to listen to my thoughts. Or I chose a wider audience for my thoughts to be shared.

Atleast here, I need to justify the heading for this post . And to add on, let me make myself clear here that there will be no direct,simple but never answerable questions in this post.

As in everyone's life, there is good as well as bad in my life. Its my assumption right now that Life has both good to rejoice and evil to crib about.*(subject to change in seconds).

I can concentrate on Good and I will be all happy. But I will not be sure, if I was completely happy or convinced myself that I can fool myself to be so. I can feel simple pleasures on going for walk or fun with kids or just sitting alone,staring at the sky. I would call many people, good old friends and i would feel happy.Ah... Life is so simple... its all about happiness and how mad on my part it was to waste time on stupid, unimportant issues.

But this wouldnt continue for long. I would soon get into the other side of the life. everything around me would seem to be against me. Millions of questions flash thru my mind. Millions has to be an under-estimation for sure. I would try hard not to let my thoughts into the dark side. I would hardly succeed in it. I was able to succeed a couple of times. But that would lead to another thought that it was not supposed to be the way I had to live.And ultimately, the result would be the same though it gets postponed in showing it out.

Well..the confusion here is about what is Life.
Is it all abt happiness? Or is it completely sad? Or, is it a mixture of both?

If its all about happiness, why am i sad at times? If its all sad, why am I happy at times? So, these 2 possibilities are ruled out completely abt life.

If its both in life, why is there no complete happiness or complete sadness at single point of time? Ok..Its my responsibility to define complete happiness and complete sadness. how do I explain it,without experiencing it? Skip it. :P

what am I trying to say. Lets assume both co-exist. Happiness and sadness. Its just that one dominates the other at any point of time. And its my mind that can choose which has to. But my mind is always partial and it tries to suppress the sadness.In that process, mind never know that its letting the sadness to succeed. So I become sad ultimately.

Hold on. When I am happy, I never hesitate to be happy. Why is it that I am so partial to the emotions? I was happy and I was able to accept it. Its a kind of emotion. So is the sadness. I should accept it and why should I get rid of it.yeah, I am sad now for some reason. That reason has to be a valid one at least for me. And ofcourse, the degree of sadness is not going to be the same for everyone. why should I try hard to hide it and make myself happy. I am worried.why should I stop it from happening. Since there was something negative about anything and everything,I had thought abt it and it would be my fault to conclude that there is nothing abt it.

Moreover, whole of universe is all abt change. If I am going to be happy now, i will change and be sad in sometime. And if I am going to be sad now, i will turn out to be happy next moment. So is the cause of the happiness or sadness. that has to change.

ok..where did I start? where did I end? Nowhere. I am still at the same point. :) Dont ask me at which point. I can only question and not answer..

And ofcourse, people who were expecting me not to pose unanswerable questions should know that I failed on it very badly.

Good or Bad

Sometimes we land up in situation where, being good to one person may turn out to be bad for other. But its never avoidable. :) Does this mean I am good? Or does it mean I am bad?

Sixth Sense

I smile at her;
Cry over her;
Scold her;
Enjoy her;
Feel proud of her;
Admire her;
Hate her;
Love her;

yeah..She is the precious mysterious Sixth sense, man has got..

Why did I consider that Sixth sense as woman!! No specific reason. :)

But Why (wo)men has got sixth sense!!
I dont know!!- Let me avoid questions which can never have logical, convincing answers.

Day before yesterday, i was scolding her.
Yesterday, i was admiring her..
Now???

I dont know myself :) :(

Am I confused??

I want a state wherein I am

neither happy nor sad
neither smiling nor crying
neither casual nor angry
neither alone nor together
neither occupied by thoughts nor completely blank
neither active nor lazy
neither alive nor dead
neither traveling nor sitting idle
neither living for myself nor for others
.
.
.
.
.
.
neither with expectations nor without them

oops... how many expectations I have from a single life that I have!!! With all these thoughts or expectations or watever, how is it I am LIVING my life!!!
I had lost all my present moments thinking of wat I want from life..Isnt it???
Though, the truth is life has some mystery hidden in it each moment. be it simple or complex. And never gonna be the way I want it from deep within ME :) oh no... why should I want anything !!!

I should accept anything and everything without 2nd thoughts.. Just go ahead and live every moment.. (hehe..Expectation 1)

Wen is my confused mind gonna understand ths !!

May be soon (hahaha.. another expectation!!!)

Oh man.. Expectations goes on... Or may be I should look at the definition for Expectation.

(Source : Wikipedia)
In the case of uncertainty, expectation is what is considered the most likely to happen. An expectation, which is a belief that is centred on the future, may or may not be realistic. A less advantageous result gives rise to the emotion of disappointment. If something happens that is not at all expected it is a surprise. An expectation about the behavior or performance of another person, expressed to that person, may have the nature of a strong request, or an order.


Hmm..Is it like expectations can be from myself and not others...

Well... I am confused. :)

Be Right Back

After-effects of Newyork

Does God have a role in making human beings(whom I consider as God's greatest wonder) cruel? If not, when is the lesson taught for such people?

Lost cycle....

"Ma...i should think abt a new 2-wheeler. Should be a comfortable choice compared to bglore autos for a 2 km.." A girl in bglore said this to her mom. Answer as expected was a big Noooo. No other way but to postpone the idea.Later one day her brother had to leave to US. "Dei anna.. anyways u r moving out of India for a while. Why dont I take ur 2-wheeler till then to bglore?" .. "No way" was the instant reply..Poor gal.

Finally she was left with the choice of eco-friendly, cheaper,safer(??), healthier mode of transport - Cycle. One fine day, when her parents had come to bglore, she bought a new cycle. She atleast felt relieved that there wont be any more fights with bglore autowalas.

On the same day the cycle was purchased, her dad performed some pooja to it. Her cycle was decorated with garlands near the handle bar. Thinking that it will not hamper the ride, she chose not to take off that garland herself. All she knew about her cycle was, there would be a garland in front and it belongs to F1 series of Hero Cycle.She was not aware of the Font size of F1 in cycle. But when she bought the cycle, that was the first word that caught her eyes.

Finally, she had a self-managed mode of transport to office. It was not as easy as expected. She had to stare at 2-wheeler, auto guys who came on her way. Sometimes she thought if it was a bad option to come in cycle to office, just for the 2 slopes on the way to office. It was tiring and she was completely drenched with sweat before she could reach office. 5 days to office in cycle dropped to 3 days to office.

If there was a chance to skip the cycling to office, she felt relieved sometimes. But she made up her mind to go in cycle atleast 3 days a week.

One wednesday, she had gone to cycle in office. Evening, before she could start from office, it started raining. Friends around suggested her to leave the cycle in office. She thought it was not a bad idea after all. With the confidence that it would be safe, she left for the day. Same continued the next day. She didnt bother to ensure if the cycle was safe. Company had staff to take care of them. why should she??

It was friday. If she is not taking her cycle that day, it would stay in office for 2 days. Bglore weather in the evenings would always tempt her to go on a long cycle ride. she didnt want to miss it that weekend. Though she was tired, she gathered all her strength mentally and physically,to leave the office in cycle.

She happily left to the parking space. Many people do come to office in cycle. She said to herself "Look at that. Someone has a cycle with same colour as mine".

Happily thinking these, she started searching for hers. Oops. where is it? Someone had stolen it. There s no safety in office. What are security guards for? Its not even a month old. How will she say this in her house??? All thoughts flashed through her mind within seconds.

She called the security people and informed about the lost cycle.

They : When did u leave it here, Mam?
She: 2 days back
They : How will it look like?
She: Its Hero model. Maroon colour. I never ever dreamt of my cycle being lost while in office.
They: Wait madam. Why dont u call someone in house and confirm if the cycle is in house
She: Do u think I am such a fool to hav my cycle left in house and searching for it here in office? what s this response!! I would prefer talking to someone at higher level.

She was confused and confused the guards too. She was not in her senses.She would feel better if someone came for help. She made her colleague come to the parking space. "I never expected this to happen." - she was on the verge of crying.

Security guards again asked her "Madam. How will your cycle look like?"

She: How do I explain them!!!why do they ask the same question again and again!!!

Her colleague came to her rescue. He pointed out to the same cycle that she had seen few minutes before. "Something of this type right?" .

She replied "exactly.. something of this type"

Guards came near the cycle to take a look at it.

She came around the cycle once and finally started shouting .

"hey wait wait wait...1 min. I think this should be mine"

Others:????????????

She took out her cycle key and tried to unlock it. It did :)

Easy to imagine the reaction of everyone around.

Security head "Mam. Next time, if you plan to leave your cycle at office, please let me know so that I can help you in spotting your cycle"

Now,all security guards are her friends expecting her to come in cycle everyday. :P

Her friends teased her asking how on earth a gal will not know how her cycle looked like...

Her reply: Listen...Its not my mistake. I always identified it with the garland in the front. Someone had taken it off wen i had left it in office...

!!@@$$$$$$!!!!

wanna aprreciate her for this???

Search for that gal...And as u all know,its not me for sure....:P

Boon or Curse????

what is it expected out of a gal? wat a gal life is??? wat is she allowed to do? wat is she not allowed to do?? the latter list seems to be very big rite?? how s a gal different from boy? her physical abilities or disabilities(how do i call it??)..was it a boon or curse?? wat did the god have in his mind when he made the gal?? did he want a woman to be special and gave her extra capabilities?? taking much pain to bring a soul to this world is not easy rite? Is this truly appreciated? is the worth of it felt by all? then why is it that women are never allowed to be independent? Was God responsible for the way women was before or is now or will be!!! who knows?? Why are women alone expected to manage kids? what is a guy's role in this??? Why should a gal do all the cooking and household activites?? Is this a rule posed by God? Is God so cruel to do this? Doesnt it look like a practice that seemed to have originated millions of generations back? Was it a result of a fear that men had seeing women capabilities. Did they try to supress the women? Or women themselves chose this way of living. Are women so fools to choose a dependent life?Is this not a practice that was made a tradition, culture or watever it is...when is it the whole of society gonna understand this?? Managing house cannot be a great task. But isnt it true that there are many dreams of women buried in this...Did anyone care to know what the dream of a women in their house is like? Did anyone feel that women have their own wishes? Did anyone let her live the life the way she wanted to be?? Who cares??? Even the gal doesnt. All she can do is to crib abt it. Who s the reason for the way the society is? Too many unanswered and never ending questions!!!!Where is the conclusion for it?? Who should make it conclude? Women should take the initiative? Did she? Not all women. Why is it so? Are they not interested in change? are they restricted from change? wat can restrict them? Every women has an answer for it and it would be different and ofcourse, a valid point from her side:) But not a normal person can understand it. Change has started approaching and its not too far... :) My grandmother made sure that her girl should have a better life than hers. My mother made sure that i enjoy my life better than her. And i would do the same for my gal. The change is one generation after the other. :) It has to be slow and steady

Women, who need to be proud of being a WOMAN was made to feel for it. God wanted to make woman a more respectable being by giving her more capabilities. She was made delicate. But then, God forgot that men have sixth sense. They misutilized gal's power and went too far in misutilizing it that people never thought it to be one. Women need not feel bad for it. Be proud of being a woman. Its a boon :)


PS: These were the random thoughts in my mind and TRIED to give a shape to it for getting it posted here